Adam Rank is all for you winning your fantasy league. In fact, he wants to help you win it.
But he doesn’t want to hear about.
So if you’re stoked that Golden Tate slipped to you in your cousin’s PPR league, guess what? Rank doesn’t care.
“If I’m not in that league with you, I don’t want to hear about it, and I don’t want to hear about you explaining all the rules,” the NFL Network analyst said on CBS Sports Radio’s The DA Show, prompting laughter from Damon Amendolara. “I really wish that we could come down – and this is really something that Congress should be working on – just come down with one set of fantasy-league rules.”
Until then, Rank does not want to hear about your league settings.
“I don’t care, and I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. “How about, ‘This guy’s going to be good at football, and if this fits into the way you play fantasy, then let me know.’ That’s how I do it. People are like, ‘Is it PPR?’ It shouldn’t matter. This guy is a good player. Rishard Matthews is a good player. That’s it. That’s my analysis right there. He’ll catch a lot of passes.”
Then there are people who post on social media about how they desperately need X number of points from fill-in-the-blank player on Sunday Night Football.
“What if Antonio Brown is sitting on the sidelines and he sees my tweet saying, ‘You know what? I need 12 points from you tonight,’” Rank said. “‘Oh, but let me tell you the scoring. We get points for every gyration you make after a touchdown reception.’”
Rank’s advice: Don’t be that person.
“Yeah, I get it, I understand it, and I get people want to gripe,” Rank said. “It can be funny when people are just really over (the top about it). I always like to answer them literally. Like when somebody was like, ‘Yeah, Marcus Mariota breaking his leg really helped me this week.’ I’m like, ‘Did it really? What kind of league are you in? Do you get points for a broken leg? Because it actually ruined my season. That seems weird.’ So I always like to just go super literal.”
And then there are people who get mad at Rank when, say, Tom Brady has a bad game.
“I’m sorry that I told you to start the best quarterback in NFL history,” Rank said. “That’s clearly my fault. you’ll have those instances. One time I was sitting there at a blackjack table and I told my friend not to hit on 19 – and he did and he drew a 2. He’s like, ‘I’m glad I didn’t listen to you.’ I’m like, ‘You’re right. You know what? Hit on 19 every time. Do it then. Don’t ask me. Why were you even asking me? You’d been having Fireball shots since noon, but whatever.’ Everybody blames you like it was my fault (and) I was calling the plays.”